Now What?

We both sit there in the living room
Pretending to watch tv
And show some interest in what happened today
Are we listening?

"Good supper, Mom" or "Good supper Dad"
As though there is a crowd in the room
We respond generously
And continue to eat

We take the "old people's" walk
Through my gardens and flowers
Through my own made meadows
And past the dogs

They look at us through their confused eyes
"Where is your youth?", they ask
And we slowly walk towards their prison
Set free only in the afternoon

We settle into bed
You with your book and me with the TV
Egyptian Mummies or Star Gate?
Or do I roll over and look for sleep?

Now what?
We did what we set out to do, right?
Now what?
It's lonely in "this ol' house".....

Go to sleep, Juniper........
I'll see you in the morning........

Our Pastures Begin

And so it begins.....

A new dawn and a new becoming......

Where did the little feet go?

Where did the never-ending questions about life wander?

They left suddenly, on a day that was dreaded.......

A day we longed for yet and yet hoped would never come.....

They now pave their own lives

Searching for what we could not find.......

Solitude? Peace? Hope?

We now pass the torch to those who may be able to do.......

What we only hoped for.......

We wish you peace!

Again, the morning

She comes too early
And sometimes too late

She beckons me to call on a new birth
And I restrain.......

Why do I resisit?
Why do I continue?

I long for simplicity.....
I long for the land.......

I long for a peace that can't be found...and no once else can provide

I have to find that on my own......

And peace I will discover...........

And on my own terms...............

Ever The Spring

There is one moment in time that is constant
And the moment is the Spring

Spring is reliable
Spring is sometimes slow to show
But show she does

The purples and blues
The reds and pinks
And yellow........

I love Spring........
My efforts from the last fall
Are abundant in the show
And the show goes on for ever on

Can you taste the fragrances?
Can you feel the rebirth?
Can you live?

I live for Spring and all her luxuries.......
And I am always amazed the surprises in store......

For this year......
And the coming years........

Minstrel from Galilee

Minstrel from Galilee

He toured the land with music in his words
Attracting both young and old
While fires raged backstage

He talked of peace while war drew near
And never lifted a sword
While fires raged backstage

His following were often poor
Or homeless or rejected
While fires raged backstage

He led them down another way
And only asked that they listen
While fires raged backstage

He left them crying on a hill
And parted with forgiveness
While fires raged backstage

He promised a reunion tour
And has restrung his guitar
As the fires still rage backstage

Age

Age
Jim Croce

I’ve been up and down and around and ’round and back again
I’ve been so many places I can’t remember where or when
And my only boss was the clock on the wall and my only friend
Never really was a friend at all

I’ve traded love for pennies, sold my soul for less
Lost my ideals in that long tunnel of time
I’ve turned inside out and around about and back and then
Found myself right back where I started again

Once I had myself a million, now I’ve only got a dime
The diff’rence don’t seem quite as bad today
With a nickel or a million, I was searching all the time
For something that I never lost or left behind

I’ve traded love for pennies, sold my soul for less
Lost my ideals in that long tunnel of time
I’ve turned inside out and around about and back and then
Found myself right back where I started again

And now I’m in my second circle and I’m headin’ for the top
I’ve learned a lot of things along the way
I’ll be careful while I’m climbin’ ’cause it hurts a lot to drop
When your down nobody gives a damn anyway

I’ve traded love for pennies, sold my soul for less
Lost my ideals in that long tunnel of time
I’ve turned inside out and around about and back and then
Found myself right back where I started again

Daylight Again

Daylight Again
Stephen Stills

Daylight again
Following me to bed
I think about a hundred years ago
How my Fathers bled

I think I see a valley
Covered with bones in blue
All the brave soldiers that cannot get older
Been asking after you

Hear the past a' calling
From Armageddon's side
When everyone's talking and no one
Is listening
How can we decide

Do we find the cost of freedom
Buried in the ground
Mother Earth will swallow you
Lay your body down.

When I Was 10

So long ago and yet I remember
I was 10 in 1968...a year of troubling turmoil.....

*Nixon was elected President and his "faithful" sidekick VP was Spiro Agnew

*There were rumors of The Beatles having problems...talk of their break-up began

*Flower children controlled San Francisco....and 14th Street in Atlanta

*"The Great Speckled Bird" newspaper was the talk of the town in Atlanta

*Martin Luther King was gunned down in Memphis

*Robert Kennnedy was gunned down in LA

*David Crosby and Stephen Stills begin to play guitars together

*Soviet Union forces invade Czechoslovakia

*North Korea seizes the USS Pueblo, claiming the ship was spying

*In Viet Nam, the Tet Offensive begins

*Classical Gas by Mason Williams is released

*Boeing 747 made its maiden flight

*London Bridge sold to Robert McCullough for £1 million

*Helen Keller dies in her sleep in Connecticut

*Saddam Hussein becomes the Vice Chairman of the Revolutionary Council in Iraq after a coup d'état

*US spacecraft Apollo 8 enters orbit around the moon

Seems pretty lame today, doesn't it?

The Christians and the Pagans

The Christians and the Pagans
Dar Williams

Amber called her uncle, said "We're up here for the holiday,
Jane and I were having Solstice, now we need a place to stay."
And her Christ-loving uncle watched his wife hang Mary on a tree,
He watched his son hang candy canes all made with red dye number three.
He told his niece, "It's Christmas Eve, I know our life is not your style,"
She said, "Christmas is like Solstice, and we miss you and its been awhile,"

So the Christians and the Pagans sat together at the table,
Finding faith and common ground the best that they were able,
And just before the meal was served, hands were held and prayers were said,
Sending hope for peace on earth to all their gods and goddesses.

The food was great, the tree plugged in, the meal had gone without a hitch,
Till Timmy turned to Amber and said, "Is it true that you're a witch?"
His mom jumped up and said, "The pies are burning," and she hit the kitchen,
And it was Jane who spoke, she said, "It's true, your cousin's not a Christian,"
"But we love trees, we love the snow, the friends we have, the world we share,
And you find magic from your God, and we find magic everywhere."

So the Christians and the Pagans sat together at the table,
Finding faith and common ground the best that they were able,
And where does magic come from? I think magic's in the learning,
'Cause now when Christians sit with Pagans only pumpkin pies are burning.

When Amber tried to do the dishes, her aunt said, "Really, no, don't bother."
Amber's uncle saw how Amber looked like Tim and like her father.
He thought about his brother, how they hadn't spoken in a year,
He thought he'd call him up and say, "It's Christmas and your daughter's here."
He thought of fathers, sons and brothers, saw his own son tug his sleeve, saying,
"Can I be a Pagan?" Dad said, "We'll discuss it when they leave."

So the Christians and the Pagans sat together at the table,
Finding faith and common ground the best that they were able,
Lighting trees in darkness, learning new ways from the old, and
Making sense of history and drawing warmth out of the cold.

The Return of the Hummingbirds!

The hummers are coming! The hummers are coming!

This is one of my favorite times of the year. Time changes, spring flowers are abundant and the annual migration of the hummingbirds is in full swing. They have already crossed over the border of Georgia and Tennessee and are headed my way.

To track their northern migration progess, go to:

http://www.hummingbirds.net/map.html

Enjoy......

Things We Say Today That Would Have Been Alien in 1976

I was thinking about language yesterday and decided to compose a list of common phrases today that would have sounded so strange when I graduated from high school in 1976. Here you go........

Shutdown Windows and Reboot.
How much memory do you have?
Hey, gas was only $2.50 a gallon today!
Have you considered outsourcing that line?
I was IMing my friend last night and.......
Scan that in pdf and email it as an attachment.
After you swipe your card, just enter your PIN.
Why don't you try Googling it?
You can double your miles if you stay over to Saturday.
My IPOD isn't fully charged.
I did wireless at Starbucks.
Did you read his Blog yesterday?
Haven't you checked your email today?
I'll bet WalMart has it cheaper.
I wonder if Homeland Security is on top of that?
Can you burn me a copy of that?
I sent it by PayPal!
I beat Spider 5 times yesterday!
Would you like that Biggie-Sized?
Viagra would help that "little" problem.......
Are you "practicing" safe-sex?
Just download it from Napster.
Run, OJ, Run....(ok, that one actually made sense in '76).
Dude, you gotta Dell.
What's your cell number?
Can you set us up on conference call?
FEMA blew it!
Just hit Ctrl-Alt-Del...but only once.
Man, I'm covered up in Spam!
Time for a power lunch.
I'll have a Sam Adams.
Did you do prenups?
I pinged him but he wasn't in.
Are your virus definitions up-to-date?
Just send her a text message.

And so it goes.........

When the Rain Falls Cold

Winter slowly recedes into Spring
With rains that chill the soul
Fires still burn in the old, rock hearth
Steam still collects inside on the window sills

Buds of colour emerge from winter's grip
Softly, they explode into rainbows
Silently brushing the canvas
And perfuming the cool, night air

Fingers of ice collect on the green leaves
And melt into the decaying leaves
They fall into the warmth of the earth
And are not seen again

Teams of goldfinch huddle around the feeder
Taking in the last of the free meals
Cardinals show their new fashion
And the humming birds stare into the glass

Birdbaths overflow into the hostas
Redbuds turn lavender
Buttercups pop up
And the Lenten Rose bows down to her children

The Reliable Friend

She creeps into my life
When the crisp, late winter mornings
Meander into the warmth of an early spring afternoon

She brings me new hope
When the death of coldness silences my senses
And revives my numbness from February

She wanders through my gardens
Searching for the path to walk this season
And lays her visions deeply into the blankets of old, rusty leaves

She spreads her orange rays across the new seedlings
And wakes them from their months of laziness
Her arms are raised as she conducts her orchestra of youth

She is as reliable as age
She returns every year....and always on time
Welcome Old Sol...my True Reliable Friend

I Believe.....

More things I believe....
~With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy and Larry the Cable Guy~

I believe most Americans get their exercise walking up and down the snack food aisle at WalMart.

I believe "W" is proof that evolution didn't pan out in Texas.

I believe that light bulbs have built-in self-destruct timers designed to execute at 2AM when you have to go to the bathroom.

I believe there are aliens inside me and they come out of my belly button at midnight to move my furniture around.

I believe cats are interstellar terrorists.

I believe traffic lights are over-rated.

I believe Pat Robertson should run for president....in Iraq.

I believe the basketball season has been on-going for 20 years.

I believe books have too many words and not enough pictures.

I believe convenience stores are not very convenient.

I believe toe nails serve no useful purpose and should be banned.

I believe the US Post Office should require their employees to pass an English test.

I believe aspirin is the leading cause of headaches.

I believe lawyers should not be allowed to breed.

I believe the internet causes cancer in laboratory mice.

I believe Bob Dylan is still on tour.

I believe Billy Mays (Oxy-Clean Ka-Boom commericials) should stop shouting at me.

I believe teachers should be required to take a polygraph test and THEN be allowed to teach the truth.

I believe Congress members should have Social Security taxes taken out of their paycheck.

I believe there are WAY too many types of printer ink cartridges.

I believe the numbers on a telephone should be aligned identical to those on a calculator.

I believe Thanksgiving should be expanded to a week-long holiday...and there should be a football game playing around the clock.

I believe the work week should be Saturday and Sunday and the weekend should be Monday through Friday.

I believe paper clips annoy me.

I believe Spam (the "food") does not have an expiration date.

I believe the toilet handle is on the wrong side of the tank.

I believe Frank Zappa ate too much Yellow Snow.

I believe God is frustrated....and she's getting annoyed.

Walkin' Down Main Street

I remember.....

Hangin' out in Gilbert's Garage on Johnson Street
The ol' pipe-stove in the back of the garage
And the pile of coal off to the side of the office
The apple trees and the pecan trees
And cats........

Walkin' in Cofer Brothers Store
The dirt floor in the front
And the squeaky, wooden floors in the back
The old, oak barrel that held the pickles
The peppermint stick candy for a penny a piece

Cruisin' through Brookton's
The only place in town that sold bellbottom jeans
And the shirts of flowers and rose gardens
And an electronic cash register

Wonderin' through Allen Pharmacy, where I worked as a teenager
The old remedies on the shelf under the Rexall Brand
Mr. Cagle in the back of the store working on another ancient watch
Sittin' in the waiting area and playing checkers with the Veterans

Walkin' under Farrell's gas station overhang and smelling the gas from the pumps
Hangin' out with the guys who pumped the gas and changed the oil
Puttin' pennies in the gumball machine...2 for one penny!

Dreamin' through Crowley's furniture store
Thinkin' about that first apartment and how that lamp would look in the corner
Thinkin' the fabric on that sofa burns my eyes
Lookin' at the price tags and hurrying out the front door

Jumpin' cross the railroad tracks
Thinkin' 'bout the time the Goatman came to town
Or when the train wreck evacuated the town
Or puttin' pennies on the track before the train came through town
To squash 'em and put 'em in my pockets

Landin' up in the ol' feed store
Where the men of the town gathered to buy their seeds for the spring planting
And the Mary Jane candies..oh, the Mary Jane candies
And yet more checker boards.....

Endin' up on Bruce Street
A place you weren't suppose to go..."you can't go there, white-boy"
And listenin' to the ol' black men playin' their blues
On banged-up, Woolworth's guitars
And wantin' to understand...and to dance!

I miss my ol' Main Street
But she is gone.........
She is gone.............

I was walkin' down Main Street
And I remember.......
Lord, don't ever take this away from me!

Good Night, Lithonia......we hardly knew ye!

Trouble in the Fields

Trouble in the Fields
Nanci Griffith & Rick West


Baby I know that we've got trouble in the fields
When the bankers swarm like locust out there turning away our yield
The trains roll by our silos, silver in the rain
They leave our pockets full of nothing
But our dreams and the golden grain

Have you seen the folks in line downtown at the station
They're all buying their ticket out and talking the great depression
Our parents had their hard times fifty years ago
When they stood out in these empty fields in dust as deep as snow

And all this trouble in our fields
If this rain can fall, these wounds can heal
They'll never take our native soil
But if we sell that new John Deere
And then we'll work these crops with sweat and tears
You'll be the mule I'll be the plow
Come harvest time we'll work it out
There's still a lotta love, here in these troubled fields

There's a book up on the shelf about the dust bowl days
And there's a little bit of you and a little bit of me
In the photos on every page
Now our children live in the city and they rest upon our shoulders
They never want the rain to fall or the weather to get colder

You'll be the mule I'll be the plow
Come harvest time we'll work it out
There's still a lotta love, here in these troubled fields

Boots of Spanish Leather

Boots of Spanish Leather
Bob Dylan

Oh, I'm sailin' away my own true love,
I'm sailin' away in the morning.
Is there something I can send you from across the sea,
From the place that I'll be landing?

No, there's nothin' you can send me, my own true love,
There's nothin' I wish to be ownin'.
Just carry yourself back to me unspoiled,
From across that lonesome ocean.

Oh, but I just thought you might want something fine
Made of silver or of golden,
Either from the mountains of Madrid
Or from the coast of Barcelona.

Oh, but if I had the stars from the darkest night
And the diamonds from the deepest ocean,
I'd forsake them all for your sweet kiss,
For that's all I'm wishin' to be ownin'.

That I might be gone a long time
And it's only that I'm askin',
Is there something I can send you to remember me by,
To make your time more easy passin'.

Oh, how can, how can you ask me again,
It only brings me sorrow.
The same thing I want from you today,
I would want again tomorrow.

I got a letter on a lonesome day,
It was from her ship a-sailin',
Saying I don't know when I'll be comin' back again,
It depends on how I'm a-feelin'.

Well, if you, my love, must think that-a-way,
I'm sure your mind is roamin'.
I'm sure your heart is not with me,
But with the country to where you're goin'.

So take heed, take heed of the western wind,
Take heed of the stormy weather.
And yes, there's something you can send back to me,
Spanish boots of Spanish leather.

The February Snow Angel 

February's Winter Rose

February's Winter Rose

The dark days of January fold into the past

And with the subtle transition comes new meaning

The coming of the new Spring

The early announcement of things to come

As the Lenten emerges from the now brown and crumbling leaves

Its strength, greater than winter's mighty, cold winds, shows perserverance

Its wisdom, greater than the Psalms of years gone by, shows depth

Its courage, greater than the peoples who once walked this Ridge, shows stamina

Its beauty, greater than Aphrodite, shows the vibrancy of nature....in all her glory

And so the Lenten Rose has once again risen from the cold, frozen soil

And reminds us of the coming......

Lenten Rose

And Then She Waltzed Away

Snow fell that day and its melting covered the roads and trees with ice
As the waltz began
With every new word a life began
She danced and sang the songs she heard around her
And she waltzed.....

The days became weeks
Weeks turned into years
With every new story a life continued
And she waltzed.....

Words of colour and paragraphs of images
Blossomed onto the pages of her own stories
She listened through the ages and captured the thoughts in ink
And she waltzed.....

Faded and wrinkled pages of tales left long ago
Can be found in every drawer
Unfinished thoughts and symphonies wrestling with the spaces
And she waltzed.....

The lilac room lies still today as the rains of January pour in
The images captured on film and parchment lay scattered across the old dwelling
She left them as they were
And then she waltzed away.....

Telegraph Road

Telegraph Road
Dire Straits

A long time ago came a man on a track
Walking thirty miles with a pack on his back
And he put down his load where he thought it was the best
Made a home in the wilderness

He built a cabin and a winter store
And he ploughed up the ground by the cold lake shore
And the other travellers came riding down the track
And they never went further, no, they never went back

Then came the churches then came the schools
Then came the lawyers then came the rules
Then came the trains and the trucks with their loads
And the dirty old track was the telegraph road

Then came the mines - then came the ore
Then there was the hard times then there was a war
Telegraph sang a song about the world outside
Telegraph road got so deep and so wide

Like a rolling river. . .
And my radio says tonight it’s gonna freeze
People driving home from the factories
There’s six lanes of traffic
Three lanes moving slow. . .

I used to like to go to work but they shut it down
I got a right to go to work but there’s no work here to be found
Yes and they say we’re gonna have to pay what’s owed
We’re gonna have to reap from some seed that’s been sowed
And the birds up on the wires and the telegraph poles
They can always fly away from this rain and this cold
You can hear them singing out their telegraph code
All the way down the telegraph road

You know I’d sooner forget but I remember those nights
When life was just a bet on a race between the lights
You had your head on my shoulder you had your hand in my hair
Now you act a little colder like you don’t seem to care

But believe in me baby and I’ll take you away
From out of this darkness and into the day
From these rivers of headlights these rivers of rain
From the anger that lives on the streets with these names
’cos I’ve run every red light on memory lane
I’ve seen desperation explode into flames
And I don’t want to see it again. . .

.......from all of these signs saying sorry but we’re closed
All the way down the telegraph road

The Snow Covered Path

I woke up in the woods today.....
It was quiet....it was cold and it was still.....
It was winter.

There is little that stirs in the cold.....
There is little that you can see...in the winter......
Life has gone underground.

Underground......
The warmth does not change.....
It remains constant.......

And where else, in life, is constant more constant than in the woods?

A Ripple In Winter

There are years when winter is shy.
Winter decides, in his own time, when to reveal his power.

January is always a subtle time to show his strength.
You can march into your gardens, with weapons in tow,
Demanding respect and allegiance.

But power comes as it will....

Your demands are laughed at......
Your respect is laughed at............
Your allegiance is laughed at........
YOU are laughed at.......................

Did you really believe you could control the forces you cannot see?
Did you believe you could develope your own evolution?

Then you, my friend, are a fool......
Back-up and look again.......you are NOT in control. You are only the caretaker.

"I Don’t Like Thursdays"
(To the tune of “I Don’t Like Mondays” by The Boomtown Rats)

The cortisone shot he got today
Is starting to take hold
And nobody’s gonna really give a damn
About the pain he says he’s in
And the boss doesn’t understand it
He thinks he’s filing worker’s comp
And he can see no relief
‘Cause there is no relief
What relief do you need to be shown?

Tell me why?
I don’t like Thursdays
Tell me why?
I don’t like Thursdays
Tell me why?
I don’t like Thursdays
I want to shoot
The surgeon down

The knife’s cutting edge is kept so clean
Before it dives into the pain
And the wife just sits in the waiting room
As the preacher walks the floor
Will he ever be able to function?
Not like he really could before
And he can see no relief
‘Cause there is no relief
What relief do you need to be shown?

Tell me why?
I don’t like Thursdays
Tell me why?
I don’t like Thursdays
Tell me why?
I don’t like Thursdays
I want to shoot
The surgeon down

Now he lies in the bed with his arm upright
As he tries to find the spot
That will let him rest without the pain
That shoots just like a dart
And the preacher slowly vacates
He’s done all that he can do here
And he can see no relief
‘Cause there is no relief
What relief do you need to be shown?

Tell me why?
I don’t like Thursdays
Tell me why?
I don’t like Thursdays
Tell me why?
I don’t like Thursdays
I want to shoot
The surgeon down

Now the wife just grades her stack of tests
And wonders what she taught
And the preacher leaves for another place
To save another soul
As the pain flows through his body
He wonders why he had the cut
And he can see no relief
‘Cause there is no relief
What relief do you need to be shown?

Tell me why?
I don’t like Thursdays
Tell me why?
I don’t like Thursdays
Tell me why?
I don’t like Thursdays
I want to shoot
The surgeon down

A Sip From The Ole Vinyard

It has been almost a month since I have written in this age......and it becomes a new age for this aging, old wizard. It has been a sort of a revival, combined with an evolution of the mind and my own kindred spirits.

And the spirits wash over me in a shower of rejuvenation. New air flows through my lungs with no dams to hold back the freedom to exhale.....and enjoy. During this renaissance (if you allow me to choose that term for my remodeling), I have experienced the hell that The Beatles (The ancient Wise Ones) spoke of in their tune "Cold Turkey".

Easy? No.

By choice? Yes.

Recovered? Never.

As Mr. Baggins wrote...."The Road Goes Ever On"....and so it does.

Through the turmoil of changing the daily ways of living, I struggled through every damned minute of the day. In time, it eased.....but I knew that for only a 10 minute journey down the Turnpike, I could rejuvenate my body back to a comfort that was afforded me for over two decades.

"No".

I said "No....damnit, NO!"

This time I wanted it and needed it. The changes are reflected in my diary on another page....you can find it, if you search.

I now walk among my gardens and can smell their fragrance...even in Winter. There are aromas that surround my body and mind that I thought had left me forever......they have returned. Although they are of the ancient ruins and have remained constant and unchanging...they are new to this aged body. Rainbows of flavors and scents, which I had convinced myself had left this world, flow through my new found senses.

I was wrong.

They were all were around and awaiting my return....just hidden from my senses......knowing that, in time, my soul would gain control....and walk the path meant for my feet.

I have returned!

Though my feet are uncalloused, they longed for the woods of old....and the memories these feet and hands longed for are returning........stop and smell the flowers.....you really don't know what you've missed until you left the path.

I left that path........and I don't expect to return. "In fact....I intend NOT too!"

And so it was......Bilbo left the Shire forever..........

Misty Mountains?

Ovation?

Takamine?

Yamaha?

It's all music.......just pluck the strings......and sing!

The Album List

Ok, so I'm showing my age with the title. Perhaps it should read "The CD List", but you get my point. I've been fortunate to have lived through many years of great music. I decided to compile a list of the albums that I believe every lover of "popular" music should have in their library......they are in no particular order.

• Pet Sounds-The Beach Boys
• Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band-The Beatles
• Revolver-The Beatles
• Sticky Fingers-The Rolling Stones
• Dark Side of the Moon-Pink Floyd
• London Calling-The Clash
• Highway 61 Revisited-Bob Dylan
• Low Spark of High Heeled Boys-Traffic
• Harvest-Neil Young
• Sittin' In-Loggins and Messina
• Idlewild South-The Allman Brothers Band
• Laid Back-Greg Allman
• Songs in the Key of Life-Stevie Wonder
• Tapestry-Carole King
• Recovering the Satellites-Counting Crows
• Rumours-Fleetwood Mac
• Dog Days-Atlanta Rhythm Section
• Nick of Time-Bonnie Rait
• Ram-Paul and Linda McCartney
• Late for the Sky-Jackson Browne
• Who's Next-The Who
• The Captain and Me-The Doobie Brothers
• Silk Degrees-Boz Scaggs
• Aja-Steely Dan
• Sweet Baby James-James Taylor
• Aqualung-Jethro Tull
• Ghost in the Machine-The Police
• All Things Must Pass-George Harrison
• Hotel California-The Eagles
• Manassas-Stephen Stills
• Born to Run-Bruce Springsteen
• Workingman's Dead-Grateful Dead
• Rock of Ages-The Band
• Souvenirs-Dan Fogelberg
• So Far-Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
• Turnstiles-Billy Joel

There Is A Quiet

It is November.......
As dusk settles in and night comes early
There is a quiet

It is a quiet full of soothing sounds......
The rustle of leaves scattering as a deer searches for the last acorn of the forest
A scramble on the roof as the squirrel rambles home to the warmth of the nest

It is a quiet full of soothing aromas....
The wood smoke from a nearby chimney
The fragrance of the last of October's flowers

It is a quiet full of soothing comfort......
The warmth of a flannel-covered bed
The touch of a loving body with the trace scent of the day's activities

It is a quiet full of peace.....
The forgiving crackle of the evening fire
The sparkle of heaven's lights

There Is A Quiet.....and it is mine.

Ultraphonic-The Boys from Stockbridge

I don't usually endorse a product (or any particular person) on my site. There's my disclaimer for which I am about to ignore.

Occasionally a band comes along that makes you turn your head and say "WOW! Who's that playing?". I have recently been exposed to a band out of Stockbridge, Georgia through my brother, who has been doing some technical work with the boys. I am impressed.

The Boys from Stockbridge are called Ultraphonic and deserve a listen. Their website is located at: http://ultraphonic.net/

On this site you can download free MP3s for your listening pleasure....and I encourage you to do just that. This band is loaded with unique talent and their sound is something that has been missing from the stage for many years.

Give the boys your ears and listen to just a few of their original tunes as well as their remake of Neil Young's classic "Old Man" and I'm sure you'll agree that Ultraphonic is about to take off. You'll definitely return to the site for more.

Let the "Ultraphonic Revolution" begin!

Bad Pumpkin after one night of freedom. He's grounded, of course! 

Two Trains Have Left The Station (Your Viet Nam)

There are two trains that have left the station. One is a train bound for war. The other is a train for peace.

The death count of American troops in Iraq is approaching 2,000. The make-up of these deaths crosses all boundaries.......all races.......male and female. Most are young Americans from YOUR generation. Are you watching? Are you concerned? Will you act?

This war in Iraq certainly cannot be truly compared to the war (conflict) in Viet Nam. That war lasted from 1965 to 1973. More than 58,000 American troops lost their lives during Viet Nam. It was American's longest war. Do we have another Viet Nam brewing? Let's hope not but I am beyond worried.

I have many concerns about the situation in Iraq. But my greatest concern is the apathy being shown by today's youth. During the Viet Nam War, American youth took to the streets to protest the war. The movement stretched from coast to coast, campus to campus. The youth were tired of the senseless killing of their own and decided enough was enough. They waged a war on the older generation of this country......the leaders in Washington as well as their own parents. Our parents' generation, for the most part, supported what our leaders said or did, regardless of the end result...a sort-of Blind Faith in leadership. It took time and many conflicts, but slowly our parents joined in the fight. The flag-covered coffins began to roll into small town America.....the children of small town America. Slowly, the majority of Americans began to question the motives and decisions of our elected officials and climbed on the train to end the war. A major turning point in the struggle occured on Kent State University in Ohio. It was there that the youth war turned ugly. Four students were killed by the American National Guard. American youth killing American youth. It was a call to arms! Now granted, there were issues on both sides of the conflict and they seemed to boil over on that day. But the shooting deaths of these students sent a message to the folks back home....the parents of the college students. The message was very clear....the establishment had now made the decision to shoot our own citizens. There was now a two-front war....one is Southeast Asia and one at home.

I have not seen a major reaction to the war in Iraq other than some small groups gathering outside the Bush Ranch in Texas or a few arrests in Washington. All I see is apathy.....apathy not only from the youth but from all generations. Have we given in to the powers of the elected ones....the chosen ones who dictate how we operate? This too is Blind Faith and our leaders are convinced that because we have not reacted then we accept the course. Are they wrong? Do we have to wait until the polls open to express our views? Do we even have any views to express?

I urge the campuses across America to become vocal once again. After all, when the troops are stretched so thin that all the "bases" can't be covered, you bring in "fresh troops". And where do you get the fresh troops? Salem College.....ETSU....Clemson....UGa....Ga Tech....UT...Berkely....a high school in Henry County, or Boiling Springs, or Colorado Springs or Krypton or Conyers or Knoxville or Clinton or Oak Ridge...the list goes on and on. And folks there won't be any discrimination when it comes to pulling you out of school. Male, Female, Black, White, Latino, Oriental........the only ones that might possibly escape the pull are the children of our elected officials. They write the laws the to protect themselves....they are NOT protecting you.

There are two trains that have left the station. One is a train bound for war. The other is a train for peace. Which train did you board?

Save The Whales!

Save the Whales!
Country Joe McDonald

When my grandpa was a boy, he went down to the general store
Saw a picture book of a whales shooting its spout and flashin' its tail
Then he got a sailor's dream 'bout cruisin' around on the salty sea
Joinin' up with a fishin' crew to go out and get him a whale or two
Tell me what kind of men are these who sail upon the salty seas
Up in the rigging in the afternoon, swabbin' the decks and sharpenin' harpoons

Hooray and up she rises
Hooray and up she rises
Hooray and up she rises
Early in the morning

Hooray and up she rises
Hooray and up she rises
Hooray and up she rises
Early in the morning

Shanghaied by the light of the moon, put out from Boston in the middle of June
After six months out at sea, and nothin' but death and misery
Set out on a three-year cruise, a union ship and a union crew
And after six months you begin to see, that whalin's not what it used to be

A modern ship and a modern crew with sonar scopes and explodin' harpoons
A mechanical boat made outta steel, a floating machine built to kill the whales

Hooray and up she rises
Hooray and up she rises
Hooray and up she rises
Early in the morning

Hooray and up she rises
Hooray and up she rises
Hooray and up she rises
Early in the morning

There're lots of whales in the deep blue sea, we kill them for the industry
We drag 'em 'longside and chop 'em in two and melt 'em down and sell 'em to you
There hardly is a sailor alive who can keep the tears from his eyes
As he remembers the good old days when there were no whales to save
Now we can thank the companies for scouring the deep blue seas
Looking for ivory and perfume and oil to light your living room

Hooray and up she rises
Hooray and up she rises
Hooray and up she rises
Early in the morning
Hooray and up she rises
Hooray and up she rises
Hooray and up she rises
Early in the morning

When my grandpa was a boy, he went down to the general store
Saw a picture book of a whales shooting its spout and flashin' its tail
Then he got a sailor's dream 'bout cruisin' around on the salty sea
Joinin' up with a fishin' crew to go out and get him a whale or two
Tell me what kind of men are these who sail upon the salty seas
Up in the rigging in the afternoon, swabbin' the decks and sharpenin' harpoons

Hooray and up she rises
Hooray and up she rises
Hooray and up she rises
Early in the morning
Hooray and up she rises
Hooray and up she rises
Hooray and up she rises
Early in the morning

Top 10 Scary Things to do For Halloween

Top 10 Scary Things to do For Halloween

10. Tie a string around your cat's tail and put his feet on fly paper; place the cat in the bushes and pull his tail when the kids show up for free candy.

9. Instead of bobbing for apples play bobbing for habaneros.

8. Carve your pumpkin into the shape of a nuclear mushroom. Do not light the candle.

7. Play Michael Jackson cds outdoors until the sun rises. You may be arrested for obscenity but what the hell. Crank it up! "Cause it's da Thriller"!

6. Before you go to bed, put the leftover candy on the front porch; place a mousetrap in the bottom of the candy dish.

5. Send your kids on a scavenger with the list written in invisible ink.

4. Buy a big screen tv and install on the front porch. Play "It's A Wonderful Life" and confuse the crap out of the neighbors.

3. Tie broomsticks all around your front doorstoop....make sure they hang low enough to bop the older kids in the head but NOT the real kids. Geez....don't they ever quit Trick or Treating?

2. Go to Kroger and buy out their supply of Charmin; go to the Great Smoky Mountains and begin.

And the Number One Scary Thing to Do for Halloween:
(Drum roll please.....)


1. Dress up like ol George W and run around saying that Presidential Term Limitations have been eliminated and you're gonna run for 8 more years! Everybody loves W, right?

Gerbalism-The Way to Enlightenment

My frustration with "organized" religion has given me no choice but to establish a new religion. Hey, we haven't had a new one in over a week.

So Welcome to Gerbalism....just follow these steps to inner peace:

• Accept that only through Gerbals (not hamsters) can you find inner peace and sanctuary
• When in a pet store, ask to hold all the Gerbals held captive...then set them free one by one....this act of freeing Gerbals will guarantee you a place in aquarium heaven (lid not included)
• Never eat meat at the buffet. You can survive on sunflower seeds and lettuce. Adding dressing will require you to confess your sins to a higher Gerbal
• Keep a Gerbal in your home, free to run up and down the stairs all night long. Put the cat(s) out first, for murder of Gerbals is a sin that has no forgiveness
• Pet the Gerbal before each meal and allow the Gerbal to bite you often. After all, true inner peace requires pain first.
• Always clean up after your Gerbal. These tiny morsels are your way to enlightenment (wash hands before handling the Gerbal again)
• Should your Gerbal enter into the Gates of Gerbalia, place the remains in an decorative jewelry box and tape securely before burying under the Apricot Tree. Always bury Gerbals under Apricot Trees. If you do not have an Apricot Tree, Home Depot has them on sale this week for $19.99

More Things I Don't Understand

Continuing the quest for knowledge:

• Where do all those socks actually go? You know the ones....the ones that disappear in the dryer.
• Why is it that the buttons on blouses are on a different side than those on shirts?
• How does a coffee bean know to not include caffeine when growing?
• What was that first guy thinking when he saw a chicken plop something out its rear and decided to eat it?
• Why do strawberries wear their seeds on the outside?
• What training do "training bras" actually provide?
• How does a thermos know when to keep something hot or cold?
• Who decided it would be fun to put all those subscription cards throughout magazines?
• Just when WERE the "Good ol' Days"?
• How does the gas pump know when I've put enough in the tank?
• What is the shelf-life of Spam? Does it even HAVE a shelf-life?
• Do turtles change shells like hermit crabs?
• Why don't they make flavored glue to go on envelopes?
• Why is it that when I blow my nose my head feels like it's shrinking? Is snot actually brain matter?
• And on that topic, what is the purpose of snot? I mean, I have a sinus infection even as I write, and that stuff just keeps on producing! Why?
• What do I do with all those remotes in my house?
• If I enter *.del on my phone, will the telemarketers be deleted?

Seasons Change

I can feel it
The subtle crisp of an early Sunday morning
A warm cup of a coffee offering vibrant streams of moisture to the air
The fallen leaves as they crunch with each step in the woods

I can taste it
The harvest of new apples plucked from their home for so many months
The last hints of pollen from the late season blossoms attempting a final chance for continuing
The salty hulls of boiled peanuts captured in a tin cup from an old iron kettle

I can hear it
The dying sounds of tree frogs as they cling to the branches of late summer trees
The endless cries of the night crickets as they sing one final song for their lovers
The autumn breezes as they take over the watch from the summer winds

I can see it
Slowly emerging colours in the tops of the hardwoods
Ghostly fogs appearing as the sun climbs over the hills
The orange moon reaching out from the bowels of space and time

Seasons Change

Dialogue (Parts I and II) 1972

Dialogue (Part I)
Chicago-1972

Are you optimistic 'bout the way things are going?
No, I never ever think of it at all

Don't you ever worry, when you see what's going down?
No, I try to mind my business, that is, no business at all.

When it's time to function as a feeling human being will your Bachelor of Arts help you get by?
I hope to study further, a few more years or so...I also hope to keep a steady high.

Will you try to change things...use the power that you have, the power of a million new ideas?
What is this power you speak of and this need for things to change? I always thought that everything was fine.

Don't you feel repression just closing in around?
No, the campus here is very, very free.

Don't it make you angry the way war is dragging on?
Well, I hope the President knows what he's into, I don't know.

Don't you ever see the starvation in the city where you live...all the needless hunger all the needless pain?
I haven't been there lately, the country is so fine...but my neighbors don't seem hungry 'cause they haven't got the time.

Thank you for the talk, you know you really eased my mind. I was troubled by the shapes of things to come
Well, if you had my outlook your feelings would be numb...You'd always think that everything was fine.

Part II
We can make it happen
We can change the world now
We can save the children
We can make it better
We can make it happen
We can save the children
We can make it happen

Observations on a College Campus-2005

I drove to the campus of East Tennessee State University (ETSU) on Friday. ETSU is located in Johnson City. The purpose of my visit was to replace a dorm refrigerator in my daughter's room with a new one....one that actually works. Additionally, she wanted to be home during the weekend of "Mom's" birthday. It's only a 2 and 1/2 hour drive up and, after you get through the congestion of Knoxville, it's quite a scenic road trip. I arrived before my daughter had finished her final requirements of the day so I pulled the refrigerator off the back of my truck, loaded it on hand trucks and hauled it to a nearby picnic table under some large oak trees. It was 20 degrees cooler (at least) under the tree and quite comfortable. As I sat there, looking like the old man that I am, I began to notice a pattern on campus. I was sitting in front of the dorm and watched as the students hurried to their next class or to lunch....many were hauling out their laundry and suitcases to begin their weekend trip home. The campus parking lots were filled with cars so I expected a lot of noise with that many students around. But the campus was strangely quiet. While I saw a lot of students walking, with backpacks loaded, there was no chatter that I expected for a campus filled with young people. Instead the students walked alone and spoke softly into cell phones. At first I thought it was but a few students making plans for the traditional Friday night parties. But the use of the cell phone became more frequent. In fact, each and every student had one of these marvels of technology up to their ear. And to make matters more troubling, most of the students had their IPods in the other hand and were listening to music in the other ear. Strange, I thought. What happened to true conversation?

Now I have to admit I was trying to compare my experience of a college campus from 1976. This is a campus in 2005....some 29 years later. But do we not talk to each other anymore? Have we "progressed" so far that talking to a live person is no longer necessary? I can recall walking across campus for my 8 AM Economics class with several friends and always talking about something.....the date from the night before (if you were lucky enough to have a date or could afford one)....the latest Bruce Springsteen album (not CD, mind you).....the latest rumor that the Beatles were getting back together.....what band was playing at Mules tonight.....were we ready for the end of the week Econ exam.....how'd we do on the literature exam, taught by "Bloody Mary"......have you played the new Asteroids video game in the student center.....who put the laundry detergent in the fountain in Bear Gardens (or Beer Gardens as the students called it)........there was always something to talk about. Now granted, we didn't have cell phones or IPods....the best we could do was a nice 8-track or cassette player in the car (if you could afford a car), a great stereo system in the dorm room and a dime for the payphone in the lobby. And you didn't have the luxury of compact discs....everything was vinyl and these albums were stored in stackable peach crates. I guess we had no choice but to talk to each other. How ancient, I thought.

My concern about the whole experience is the loss of social interaction, among students today, because of our technology. Once out in the "real world", will these young adults be capable of having a converstation around a meeting table? Will they be able to discuss problems from last night's production run on the evening shift? Will they have the necessary tools to actually function socially? Will they be able to come home from work and talk to their spouse (or significant other....this is 2005, you know) about their day at work?

Time will tell.....or tell on us!

Things You Should NEVER Buy Your Wife For Her Birthday

With my wife's birthday coming up in a few days, I thought I would share with you some items that should NEVER be considered when choosing the perfect gift:

• Membership to a gym. While she may want this deep-down, YOU should not be the one to make that decision....bad idea. You will be forced to answer the question "Do you think I'm gaining weight?"
• Vacuum cleaner. You are implying that this is a very important item that she should cherish. You may find your favorite tie (if there is such an animal) in the vacuum bag.
• Cooking utensils. Unless she asks for this specifically, and puts it in writing, you should NEVER consider this or anything else associated with the kitchen.
• Season Tickets to any sporting event. She knows you bought this for you, not her. They figure these things out pretty quickly.
• Kinky lingerie. Ditto from the Season Tickets (above).
• Clothes of any kind. You will screw this one up by getting the wrong size AND color. Should you luck up and get it right, she will have to buy new shoes to match.
• Anything associated with new technology. Pretty close to the Season Tickets thingie...you're gonna have to make it work and it ends up becoming your problem for months.
• Jewelry. If you choose to go this route, she must go with you to pick it out. She knows exactly what she would wear. If you go solo, you'd better be prepared to buy clothes and shoes to match....and remember that you'll screw that one up too.
• Dremel set. Actually, my wife has one of these, but it's for her gourd-art. Not many wives do gourd-art so this is likely a bad move on your part.
• Mr. Beer Homebrewing Kit. Well there's a big DUH for you. You're in the doghouse with this gift, so just stay away. Put it on YOUR Christmas Wish list and understand you will never get this from her.
• Crystal-growing kit. This just will not do! Been there, done that. Actually this was a Christmas gift and it sat on a shelf for a number of months. I pulled it out and made them myself. Lots of work involved with this one and the potential for staining the kitchen counter is high. This is the kiss of death.
• Offer to babysit the kids for a weekend. If you do this, make sure you submit this with specific black-out dates! College football bowl game days and Superbowl Sunday are prime candidates.
• Anything to do with house cleaning. This is just a dumb idea. You are supposed to be smart enough to never consider this as a "gift".

Please feel free to add to this list....we all need a good education, especially in the gift buying arena!

Large caterpillar eating Crepe Myrtle leaf

This Old Guitar

This Old Guitar
John Denver

This old guitar taught me to sing a love song
It showed me how to laugh and how to cry
It introduced me to some friends of mine
And brightened up some days
It helped me make it through some lonely nights
Oh, what a friend to have on a cold and lonely night

This old guitar gave me my lovely lady
It opened up her eyes and ears to me
It brought us close together
I guess it broke her heart
It opened up the space for us to be
What a lovely place and a lovely space to be

This old guitar gave me my life my living
All the things you know I love to do
To serenade the stars that shine
From a sunny mountainside
Most of all to sing my songs for youI love to sing my songs for you
Yes, I do, you know
I love to sing my songs for you

Stop The Planet....I Need To Catch My Breath

Anybody paying attention out there? I mean the whole world has gone to hell and we're all just sitting on the patio at Starbucks, drinking a cold coffee (doesn't even sound good), typing an Instant Message, to the person at the next table, while "multi-tasking" by playing Spider Solitaire. We are pathetic....let's take a look at what has happened in the past few weeks:

• Hurricane Katrina blows through Louisiana and Mississippi and President Bush is hiding out in Texas....on vacation.
• Cindy Sheehan camps outside Bush's Ranch in Texas waiting for an audience with our Prez....The Prez doesn't meet with her....he's on vacation, By God!
• Saddam Hussein confessed to mass killings in Iraq....then he didn't confess to mass killings in Iraq....The Prez is vacationing in Texas (who the hell vacations in Texas other than a bozo? Sorry, Pastor).
• Yasser Arafat's cause of death is still unknown....hey the man was old! Isn't that a good enough reason to die? Bush is on vacation in Texas...I think there's a trend here.
• Chinese police busted a ring making fake Viagra. Ok, there's a joke in there somewhere...but who the hell buys fake Viagra.....perhaps Bush, while he's vacationing in Texas?
• The UN releases a study stating that the world will not meet its goal of reducing poverty. There's a surprise. Wonder how much that study cost and how long it took. Hey Bush....you still on vacation? Nap-time is over.
• The US Navy has asked Halliburton to repair naval bases damaged by Hurricane Katrina. There's another surprise. I think we can safely assume the Vice President is NOT vacationing with Bush....he's busy drumming up business, huh?
• There is fear among Bush's administration that the $5 Billion a year tourism business in New Orleans may be affected by Hurricane Katrina.......I think Bush just came off vacation, ya'll.
• Gas prices reach an all-time high....but President Bush has a plan. "Don't buy gas if you don't need to." That's brilliant....can you go back on vacation, Mr. Bush?
• The government reports that unemployment in Mississippi and Louisiana is expected to rise dramatically....possibly due to Hurricane Katrina. I'm speechless!

How to Survive During the Coming Energy Crisis

Here's some handy-dandy tips on how to cope with the coming energy crisis...wait, it's already here!

1. Take a shower with your spouse, or whoever you're shacking up with. This saves on the costs associated with heating the water and saves on water as well.
2. Turn off your air conditioners! Open all windows and drink that surplus beer you've been hiding for the lawn cutting project on Saturday.
3. Sleep naked. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with this idea, crisis or not. Unless, of course, you own a cat and YOU are a male. Cats like to play with balls at night.
4. Walk your dogs at night, when it is cooler. You are also hidden from view from the neighbors whose yards your dogs like to poop in....you don't have to carry around that silly WalMart bag at midnight!
5. Cut down on your coffee intake...this saves on electricity. Substitute your pre-work morning beverage with beer (See #2).
6. Sell that damn SUV and mini-van, dumb-ass! Buy a pickup and haul your co-workers to their cubicle. Stay in the right lane (See #5)
7. Buy a motorcycle but don't tell your wife....NEVER tell your wife you own a motorcycle...never.....
8. Stop cooking at home and eat at fast food restaurants. That will cause those cesspools to use more fuel and HOPEFULLY force them out of business.
9. Quit driving to see your doctor....drink beer instead! It has all the major food groups...this is undocumented, of course.
10. Spend your evenings in WalMart. They LOVE the crowds and you'll be using their air-conditioning. Only buy beer and Peanut M&Ms, since this is what you'll be living on for the coming months. Wait for the cases that fall off those pallet left in the middle of the aisle....you know the ones that block your ability to move their oversized shopping carts through the "short-cuts".
11. Stop ironing your clothes in the morning, before going to work. Your boss will hate you for this and ask that you work from home. That puts you closer to that beer in the cooler. Trust me, you'll be so much more productive listening to Pink Floyd and drinking Molson's.
12. Join a left-wing environmentalist group for support. They can show you the way to Mother Earth News. And they like beer. Lots of beer. Plenty of beer. Allow them to meet in your home and have them provide those liquid refreshments.
13. Quit reading the newspaper! It's only bad news and will depress you even more. Plus, you have to put down your beer to turn the page. That is a TRUE waste of energy!
14. Learn to play the guitar. Once you're good enough..and by today's standards you only need to know 3 chords (G-C-D) you can play in a bar at night. And bars have beer!
15. Take away the gas credit cards you gave to your college-aged kids. They have no idea what is going on, outside of their campus, and see nothing wrong in driving a thousand miles to a party. The bill comes to YOUR home....remember?
16. And in the words of John Prine...."Blow up your t.v. throw away your paper...Go to the country, build you a home....Plant a little garden, eat a lot of peaches...Try an find Jesus on your own."

Top 10 Reasons for Why I Chose to Not Return to Atlanta

10. Too many people, too little time
09. Overcrowded Schools
08. Too many malls, not enough money
07. Too many people, not enough trees
06. Can't buy beer on Sunday
05. Can't get a flight that's ontime, regardless of how far in advance you book
04. Mom would make me do her yardwork
03. I'd get a hernia picking up the Metro-Atlanta Phonebook
02. Braves can't win the big one (again)

AND THE NUMBER REASON WHY I CHOSE TO NOT RETURN TO ATLANTA:

THE FRIGGIN' TRAFFIC!

Walden's Pond Scum

Interesting title, huh? We were driving home from our favorite Mexican restaurant last night and I announced that I wanted to be Walden's Pond Scum. My announcement was received warmly, if laughter is any indication. During the course of the drive to and from dinner, the topic of conversation centered on the so-called Christian, Pat Robertson, and his announcement to the world that the Venezuelan Leader, Chavez, should be assassinated. Pat, you don't speak for me or represent my views in ANY form or fashion.....go away.

I have struggled with Christianity for most of my adult life. The main reason for my decision to jump head first into the faith topic is the bad name that a small few have given to the movement. My first run-in with a fundamentalist Christian (you guessed it-Southern Baptist-those folks really tick me off) was a Sunday School teacher I had in Lithonia, Georgia. I was probably 17 years old. And the Doobie Brothers were coming to town. For you older folks, the Doobies were a pretty talented band that didn't write the "kill yo mama" kind of songs you hear today. Their lyrics were inspiring and the blend of accoustic and electric guitars was impressive. Here's where it gets tricky. They were scheduled to play on a Sunday night. To complicate the issue, there was a youth group coming to our church from North Carolina to also play music. I was asked by my Sunday School teacher if I would be coming to see the youth group perform. I responded that I already had other plans and didn't see any reason to cancel them. He asked what could be more important than hearing youthful Christian music. I informed him that the Doobie Brothers, in my opinion, were more important than the NC group and I had actually paid for my tickets. In fact, I had camped out just to get the tickets. He told me that was a childish thing to do and that people who go to rock concerts were going to hell. I responded with the first thing that came into my head...."I'll see you in hell!"

These days it seems the only view being heard is that of the extremist....not only Christians but extremists from all religions and beliefs. And it is those few that are causing the growing hatred in this world. I consider myself a social liberal and a fiscal conservative. Not a good mix in today's society and I am therefore labeled as a liberal. OK...I can handle that. But what I will no longer accept or remain quiet about is having someone wave their Bible in my face and tell me "this is the only thing you need to rely on.....and let me interpret what is says so you don't even have to think about it.....I'll do the thinking for you." Well bite my ass! I don't need someone thinking for me. I am perfectly capable of thinking. And I also have a voice, so you don't have to speak for me. I have heard people I know say that the only people who are being heard these days are the liberals, the gays and those who don't fall in line with their ultra-conservative views. HELLO! What paper are you reading and what kind of people are being elected to represent us in government? Well, it's not the liberals, the gays or those that don't fall in line with ultra-conservatism. For those who believe as I do, it is time that our voice is heard too.

Just to set the record straight, here are a few things I believe....this should really rattle some cages, but it doesn't really matter to me. They are my views and you can like them or ignore them. I can take it......... can you?

• I believe the war in Iraq has failed. It's time to bring the troops home.
• I don't believe that politics and religion is a good mix. Leave your Bible outside of Congress and leave your political party membership card outside of the church.
• I am not convinced that everything I need to know is in the Bible. Heck, that book has been translated so many times and translated to fit the needs of the society that rewrote it. Who really knows what the original words were when they were first written?
• I have no attachment to the Confederate flag or what it represents today. For those who wave it in the name of hatred, you really should take another course in the Civil War in America to see what the TRUE reason for going to war was in the first place.
• I believe it is a woman's right to choose birth or abortion. I do NOT believe abortion should be used as a form of birth control. Think wisely before you crawl into bed with someone. You have options.
• I believe marriage is a commitment between two loving people.
• I don't believe marriage should be viewed as disposable....no deposit, no return type thinking. The things you want in life are not easy.....you have to work it to make it work.
• I believe in the 10 Commandments.....not a bad list of rules and they are rules that can work in any society. Very basic and very worthy.
• I believe there is more than one religion in the world and there should be mutual respect between the religions.
• I believe there is life beyond our little planet....and they're laughing at us daily.
• I believe in evolution and not the newly tagged "Inspired Intelligence".
• I don't believe a virgin can give birth unless she visited a sperm bank 9 months ago and made a withdrawal.
• On the topic of God.......I'm still struggling with that one.

Turn Around (Life’s Rich Pleasures Continue)

Turn Around (Life’s Rich Pleasures Continue)
For Carly

So many years gone by
So much water under the bridge
Conversations, music, books and poems
Laughter, tears, silence and noise
Life’s rich pleasures continue


Holidays and family
Guitars and presents
Camping and roasting marshmellows
Growing flowers and watching baby birds in their nest
Life’s rich pleasures continue


All are memories now
But memories are what make us who we are
Struggles persist
Strength endures
Life’s rich pleasures continue


I have watched you grow for 18 years
Slowly developing into who you are today
A tremendous milestone is upon you
A day where you walk out the door for the last time
From a place you call home
Life’s rich pleasures continue


The home will always be there
But you will not
You have other things to try
Other experiences that are yet unknown to you
Life’s rich pleasures continue

There are days to come that are unknown to us all
Days of emptiness and days of silence
Days of excitement and days of joy
Days to remember
Life’s rich pleasures continue

So go now into a new world
Go to accomplish what you’ve dreamed of for many years
Go and be the person you desire to be
But always remember where you came from
Life’s rich pleasures continue

Fare thee well, my daughter, my friend

How To Cut Grass in August-In Tennessee

Arrrggghhhh! High humidity along with mid-90 temperatures at 10AM is not the ideal setting for cutting grass in August...especially in Tennessee! After several years of working through various experiments (I am in a science and engineering town, after all), I believe I have perfected the task. Try to keep up with me. In my opinion, based on scientific experiments and much research, the following are the correct procedures for this crisis:

Preparation

1. Ice down your beer the night before the task begins. I personally prefer Molson's, but have taken a liking to Coors (not Coors Lite) lately.
2. Make sure you have ample quantities of your choice of beer, but by all means it MUST be bottled. Enough of the canned brewskies....it just ain't right.
3. Make sure you have plenty of gas for the lawn mower. There is absolutely NO EXCUSE for running out of gas before you finish the job. The other issue that could arise from this lack of planning it that you will have to ask your spouse to run to the gas station and get more gas (reference the liquid refreshments above and the guys in cars with flashing lights...just don't do it). This request will likely be met with significant repercussions which may (not) be played out in the bedroom (sorry, Pastor). Better to be prepared. While you're checking, look at your oil inventory.
4. Check your ice supply in the freezer. Those ice makers tend to overflow and then stop producing. You will likely use the entire amount of produced ice and this could also come back to haunt you (RE: #3).
5. Make sure your favorite large plastic cup is clean and hasn't been used for dipping cat food or dog food. There is nothing more frustrating than to have to use a cup that will only partially satisfy your thirst on the day of the project. It's a pain to have to go inside for additional water and having to take off your shoes each time so as to NOT track in grass clippings in the house (RE: #3).

The Project

1. Wake up early. You need to inspect the grass for moisture. This can cause clogging of the mower and is extremely frustrating. Lack of planning COULD result in a project that takes twice as long and could delay or postpone any plans made by your spouse (RE: #3 in Preparation).
2. Clear the lawn of any obstacles that could force you to turn off the mower to remove (RE: #1 in Project; #3 in Preparation). These items could be toys, sprinklers, passed-out teenagers from the Friday night before, beer cans from those teenagers passing by on the way home from the Friday night before, leftover carcasses of critter wars, etc.
3. Drink two full cups of ice-water before beginning the project. This may force a trip to the bathroom but your body will appreciate it about 1/4 of the way through the project. IGNORE THE BEER THAT IS ICED DOWN (for now, anyway).
4. Gentlemen, START YOUR MOWERS!
5. About an hour into the project, take a break. These are union rules and you MUST abide by this. Replenish your body with additional ice-water, but you may want to look at the iced down beer....this if actually refreshing. Take your shoes off and go inside for additional refreshments (e.g. air-conditioning).
6. Gentlemen, RESTART YOUR MOWERS!
7. Upon completion, replenish your body with two cups of ice water and place your hand in the container housing the iced-down beer. Leave the beer in the container (for now, anyway).
8. After 30 minutes has passed, return to the container housing the iced-down beer and chug-a-lug. Limit yourself to only one beer at this point.
9. Begin washing the mower for storage. You may, at this point, be in need of a 2nd beer. This acceptable and is actually required (Union Rules again).
10. Place mower in the approved storage facility. Neglecting to do so may result in unnecessary grief (RE: #3, Preparation).
11. Replenish your body with all the protein necessary to function (key word is "function"-RE: #3, Preparation).
12. Remove all clothing prior to entering the house. Be discreet...this could cause serious repercussions (RE: #3, Preparation).
13. Properly place all wet (usually with sweat) clothing near the washing machine. Should you NOT have a washing machine in your house, burn all clothing using any leftover gasoline.
14. Shave. You know you didn't shave on Saturday morning, so this is essential, prior to showering. Neglecting to do so WILL result in severe repercussions (RE: #3, Preparation).
15. Shower. Make sure every inch of your body has been covered in a soapy lather. Don't forget to shampoo what little hair you have left (RE: #3, Preparation).
16. Dry off and put on clean (this is REALLY important) clothes. (RE: #3, Preparation).
17. Return to your spouse and ask if there is anything she needs you to do for her. Neglecting to do so WILL result in severe repercussions (RE: #3, Preparation).
18. Next Thursday or Friday, begin again. Neglecting to do so WILL result in severe Repurcussions (RE: #3, Preparation).

My intention is to formally present this paper to the Congressional Committee on Husbands on August 31st, for submittal to the Budget Committee. Should you have additional proposals, please submit to me, in the form of "comments" so that I can include them in my proposal. The Budget is scheduled to be presented to the full House on September 15th.

Closing Out Summer

Summer is winding down, although you couldn't tell it from the 90+ degree temperatures. Most of the local schools are back in session. My daughters are also winding down. Both worked with Habitat for Humanity in paid positions this summer. The oldest one finished out her job yesterday and plans to travel to South Carolina and Kentucky this weekend before heading back to Salem College next week. My youngest finishes up her time with Habitat next week and will start college the following week at East Tennessee State University.

That just leaves me and da' mamma, along with 3 cats and 2 dogs, to fend for ourselves. This should be interesting. We plan to determine once and for all if the "Empty Nest Syndrome" is reality or myth. I suspect one of us will soon be visited by the men in white suits..."They're coming to take me away, HA-HA."

Hey Tomorrow

Hey Tomorrow
Jim Croce

Hey tomorrow,
Where are you goin'
Do you have some room for me
'Cause night is fallin' And the dawn is callin'
I'll have a new day
If she'll have me

Hey tomorrow,
I can't show you nothin'
You've seen it all pass by your door
So many times I said I been changin'
Then slipped into patterns
Of what happened before

'Cause I've been wasted
And I've over-tasted
All the things
That life gave to me

And I've been trusted
Abused and busted
And I've been taken by those close to me

Hey tomorrow
You've gotta believe that
I'm through wastin'
What's left of me

'Cause night is fallin'
And the dawn is callin'
I'll have a new day
If she'll have me

Hey tomorrow,
Where are you goin'
Do you have some room for me
'Cause night is fallin'
And the dawn is callin'
I'll have a new day if she'll have me

I'll have a new day if she'll have me

Your Friend (For Terri)

Sitting in a high school English class
Not knowing.....

A high school football game after graduating
Not knowing.....

A heavy rain, so a movie instead of the game
Not knowing.....

A weekend college dance in the mountains of North Georgia
Not knowing.....

A chance letter to a ship, far away in the Mediterranean
Not knowing.....

A missed ride on the Pink Pig
Not knowing.....

A child born to us, a daughter
Not knowing.....

A second child born to us, a daughter
Not knowing.....

Two daughters, raised, grown and off to college
Still loving.....

In The Days Of A Caveman

In The Days Of A Caveman
Crash Test Dummies

When you go on camping trips
you're stuck right out in nature
Foraging the forests like a primate
Using sharpened tools instead of hotplates

Your thumb and forefinger
supposed to show you're not a wild beast
You can hear their noises at night time
They don't have to keep a certain bedtime

See in the shapes of my body
Leftover parts from apes and monkeys

Sometimes when I lie awake
I hear the rainfall on my tent fly
I think of all the insects that are sleeping
And wonder if the animals are dreaming

See in the shapes of my body
Leftover parts from apes and monkeys

In the days of the caveman
and mammoths
and glaciers
Bugs and trees were your food then;
no pyjamas or doctors

And when I finally get to sleep,
I dream in technicolor
I see creatures come back from the Ice Age
Alive and being fed inside a zoo cage

Things I Don't Understand-Updated Often (Well DUH!)

• If eating watermelon seeds will make them grow out your ears, what happens with the banana seeds?
• How does cheese grow hair so easily and I don't?
• Why should I care if a tree falls in the middle of a forest and does or does not make a sound?
• Why are the numbers displayed on a phone different from those on a calculator?
• What are boogers made of and why do they grow? I mean I'm not feeding them or anything.
• How does a bell pepper know to NOT get hot?
• When I drop a hammer on my foot, why does it take so long for me to feel the pain?
• Who invented this whole idea of working for a living? I want someone to track him down and shoot him.
• Why doesn't the Earth fall? It's really heavy, you know.
• How much wood, would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Ode to Cortisone

My elbow hurts
It hurts like hell
But I know how it fix it

I pour the bourbon
In the Coke
And shake it up to mix it

If that don't work
I call the doc
And meet him in the alley

He pulls the needle
From the pouch
Of his assistant, Sally

It's full of juice
That's really good
I think its name is Cortisone

It makes me better
Later on
But messes up my chromosome

There now, damnit! A poem that almost rhymes.........

Dancing with Rowdy

I wander the lawns on hot summer days
And see the things I don't see at my home
And then I find my tree...the magical tree

This tree grows things I have never seen
And certainly never see at my home
There are morsels of treats and he leaves them for me

Aromas of cheeses and pastas and green things
I sample them daily or whenever the harvest allows
And then I dance.....asking for more

And then I see him in the window
He smiles
And dances with me

Taking on the Heat

Remember rain? I certainly do....and I remember saying I liked rain but we needed a break. Well, a break we got! Lately we have had highs in the upper 90s and humidity levels around the same number. The two combined gives us heat indices of over 100 degrees. We have certainly felt it. Over the past week it has been painful just to walk outdoors. Going from an air-conditioned home to the outdoors is exhausting at best. You can feel your lungs react and expand to the hot air you're breathing in....and it's a thick, hot air.

Although we had an overabundance of rain prior to this heat wave, my plants are beginning to show signs of distress. I've been watering them in the evenings, but I'm sure most of that is evaporating. It's tough to watch all these wither up, in an attempt to overcome the heat.

But there is some glimmer of hope.....and mild cold front is expected in over the next day or so and the chance of rain increases daily. Bring it on!

Busy With The Boy

I've spent the last couple of days helping Boy, my cat, put his thoughts together for his newly developed Blog page (his link is to the left of this page and called Shadow Boy). He's pretty excited about getting his stories on the internet. He's a wise ol' cat and usually has an interesting interpretation on everything we humans do.

He was a little down yesterday because of the weather. He prefers cooler weather and I'm afraid he'll be down for another few months. It looks like this hot weather is here to stay for a while. So while he is indoors, enjoying the air conditioned rooms, he's thinking. Boy is quite a philosopher and has an opinion on everything. Our early mornings together start my day off with a different perspective on life. I've come to rely on Boy for advice and guidance. You might learn something from him as well. That is, however, if you can tolerate his constant questioning. He just doesn't understand humans........neither do I!

The Fine Art of Wasting Time

Or, How I'll Spend My Time When My Daughters Go Off To School

• Sit at my window and watch the birds bathe
• Watch the Ladybug devour the innocent aphid
• Continue to flip the light switch in my home that obviously isn't connected to anything
• Program my "Universal" Remote (that might take a LOT of time)
• Reorganize my cd collection in mid-range alphabetical order (M to Y, A to L, then Z)
• Sit on the tailgate of my truck and pretend I'm outside a football stadium-CHEERS!
• Read a technical manual on how to reprogram Windows 3.1
• Stare at my speakers to determine how the whole band got inside that little, wooden box
• Go through my sock drawer and pull out all the single socks I saved, hoping the ones that were eaten by the dryer will magically reappear
• Count the blooms that fall off the crepe myrtles
• Bounce a tennis ball off the outside wall built with uneven stones-might have to chase the ball, but that's the fun of it
• Write a thesis on why ice cream doesn't have bones and find a publisher
• Take the trash out.....then bring it back inside (this could go on for days)
• Do a "Google" for Barbie Benton to see if that whole gravity thing took its toll on her over the last 40 years
• Invent a new alphabet-anybody know when this thing was last upgraded?
• Read a thesaursus to determine which words can be deleted from the dictionary; advise Daniel Webster of my final determination
• Add my consistently misspelled words to Bill Gates' Spellcheck dictionary so I can continue my writing without being interrupted
• Collect snowflakes to see if I can find any two that are alike; bring them in next to the fire so I can see them better
• Write my life story so the rest of the world can have a manual on how to go insane in 3 (no 4) easy steps and find a publisher
• Go to bed and start it all over tomorrow

Going Back to Saturn

Zor and Zam

Zor and Zam
Bill Chadwick and John Chadwick (Recorded by The Monkees)

The king of Zor, he called for war
And the king of Zam, he answered.
They fashioned their weapons one upon one
Ton upon ton,
They called for war at the rise of the sun.

Out went the call to one and to all
That echoed and rolled like the thunder.
Trumpets and drums, roar upon roar
More upon more.
Rolling the call of "Come now to war."

Throughout the night they fashioned their might
With right on the side of the mighty.
They puzzled their minds plan upon plan
Man upon man
And at dying of dawn the great war began.

They met on the battlefield banner in hand.
They looked out across the vacant land.
And they counted the missing, one upon one,
None upon none.
The war it was over before it begun.

Two little kings playing a game.
They gave a war and nobody came.
And nobody came.
And nobody came.
nd nobody came.
And nobody came.

I'm Gonna Build an Ark

I've been reading the flood story in Genesis and I think I've got it right. I have also revisited Bill Cosby's version of the conversation between Noah and God. All those cubics jive, so I think it's time to begin the construction project.

Since I moved to the Eastern Hills over 5 years ago, it has rained. And not just a little rain....I mean "Buckets of Rain", as Bob Dylan sang (probably wrote the song while standing next to Noah on-deck.....he is old, you know. For those anal-Dylan-freaks, that is found on "Blood on the Tracks", Track 10, issued 1974.

My God, it rains a bunch here! Take yesterday and then what's happening today. Yesterday, a storm sneaks in and dumps 3/4" in just under 45 minutes. Today it's even more....1.5" in the same time frame, and (you guessed it)....it's still friggin' raining (if you've read all my postings this comes from the first one......it's a classic.....you should scroll WAY down if you haven't).

Now I like rain as much as anyone (probably more), but GEEZ! I've got green tomatoes that have been green since JUNE! It takes that orange ball during the day to turn them the appropriate colore for eating. Unless, of course, you like fried green tomatoes (mixed with okra....you should try it sometime). But I digress. I always digress. My life is a digression. But I digress....where the hell was I anyway?

Oh yea, RAIN! If I could remember all my Greek Gods and Godesses, I'd call on one of them (the right one, of course) to ask for a reprieve. Then again, I live close enough to the Cherokee Nation and maybe, just maybe, they need the rain and are dancing up a storm over there. Knock it off, guys! We believe your dance works!

Jobs I Want to Perform

Top 10 Jobs I'd Like to Perform Before I Retire
(And then I'll be a Wal Mart Greeter)

1. Painting Gecko toenails
2. The person who mixes in weed seeds with grass seeds
3. The person who types the wattage on lightbulbs
4. The person who wraps plastic thingies around aspirin bottles so you can't get in them
5. The guy that comes around houses during the night to steal one sock out of the dryer
6. Universal Remote Repairman
7. Aluminum Can Stomper at the Recycling Center
8. The man who turns the traffic light to red when you drive up
9. Feline impersonator
10. The guy that puts all those pins in new shirts

The Void - A Year of Healing

A year has passed since my brother died.

I recall being at work and having a strong urge to call another brother....I knew he was there and something was telling me to make that call. When he answered the phone all he said was "Mark's gone". It was a moment I knew was coming and a moment I thought I was prepared for. Once again, I was wrong.

My brothers and I all played a role in the performance called a funeral.....a horrible ritual we humans have developed to mourn the dead. I hate funerals. Hundreds of people gathering to tell you all about the one that has just left this world. They laugh, smile, joke and sometimes cry. I suppose there is some healing in this practice but there has to be a better way.

Over the past year I experienced many phases of various emotions, most of which could likely be diagnosed as depression. That depression has not ended. I went through a similar phase when my Dad died, but nothing compared to this. I suspect knowing my father was older made it easier to manage. Having a younger brother taken made no sense. It still doesn't.

I argued and challenged God. I lost. She was not impressed with my attitude nor was I with her's. I suppose I have walked away from religion.....it's not the first time. I go through the usual Sunday routine, but there is nothing there. Perhaps I have built my own wall to block out those talks of a loving God. I just don't know.

The year has taken its toll on me and I in turn took it out those who care for me. I cannot take back those hateful words I issued to lash out at those who were truly concerned. I can only hope forgiveness is word that can, in time, be offered to me. But I do not deserve or expect that to come.

My life has changed over the past year. I cannot honestly say it has changed in a positive manner. I have allowed my anger to fester to the point that I no longer like who I am. I no longer know what I stand for or where I'm heading. It has been a tough path I have chosen....rocky steps all along the way. But rocks, in time, turn to sand and the path becomes easier to manage.....I long for an easier trail and a lighter load.

Mark, I wish you could know the effect your passing has had on me. Maybe you are reading these words and already know. Maybe you are writing these words through my fingers. There are many regrets I have mustered up since you left. Most of which have to do with not visiting with you and Tami often enough. You had the courage to set out and do what made you happy. Writing stories and music that somehow explained who you were and where you came from. I admire you for that. Our younger brother started a blog before me and possibly inspired me to do the same. But it was YOU that convinced me to put my thoughts into words, stories and songs. Sadly, you won't see these words or hear these songs.

I miss you Brother.....Fly On, Freebird!

Thumbing My Way

In Memory of A Brother
Mark Gilbert
November 17, 1961 - July 19, 2004

Thumbing My Way
Pearl Jam

I have not been home since you left long ago
I’m thumbing my way back to heaven
Counting steps, walking backwards on the road
I’m counting my way back to heaven

I can’t be free with what’s locked inside of me
If there was a key, you took it in your hand
There’s no wrong or right, but I’m sure there’s good and bad
The questions linger overhead

No matter how cold the winter, there’s a springtime ahead
I’m thumbing my way back to heaven
I wish that I could hold you
I wish that I had
Thinking ’bout heaven
I let go of a rope, thinking that’s what held me back
And in time I’ve realized, it’s now wrapped around my neck

I can’t see what’s next, from this lonely overpass
Hang my head and count my steps, as another car goes past
All the rusted signs we ignore throughout our lives
Choosing the shiny ones instead
I turned my back, now there’s no turning back

No matter how cold the winter, there’s a springtime ahead
I smile, but who am I kidding?
I’m just walking the miles,
every once in a while I’ll get a ride
I’m thumbing my way back to heaven
Thumbing my way back to heaven
I’m thumbing my way back to heaven...

When Trees Go Bad

Tuesday was quite an eventful day, although totally unplanned. Boy (my cat) and I share our early mornings with a Marlboro and our first cup of coffee....I do need to add that Boy quit smoking so I guess I'm next. We usually stand in the driveway and just look around. There is usually a passing skunk, raccoon or deer that wander through, but normally we hang out together. This particular Tuesday didn't work that way. Instead of the wild creatures, we experienced a fallen tree....or half of one anyway. We noticed that the top of my driveway was not viewable....there was some sort of obstruction at the top. We looked at each other and agreed this had to be explored. When we arrived at the top, Boy said "I don't think you can drive that machine you get in every morning when you disappear for hours." I definitely couldn't disagree with the little fellow. A large portion of a maple tree had decided to part ways with the mothership. Now Boy was quite excited! He thought is was great to be able to "climb a tree" without going vertical.

"When did you decide to grow for me a tree that lays flat on the ground", he asked.

"This is not my doing", I responded in a most sarcastic tone.

"Well whoever did this is a genius and obviously loves cats!"

"Shut-up, Boy", I added in hopes he would do this that. "Don't you understand what has happened here? Is it not obvious that we must have had a storm last night and the winds damaged this tree?"

Boy looked at me with that innocent face of his and muttered, "And you expect me to really know these things? I'm a cat or haven't you realized that? I eat your leftovers, catch lizards and ground squirrels and sleep. That's what I do....nothing more and nothing less. If you want me to become more involved in your life, you have to tell me these things. Otherwise, I will continue to do what I do. So do you have to do something with this lovely new addition to our yard?"

"Well Duh! I will have to cut all this wood up and I might even have to take the remainder of the tree down as well. It looks pretty damaged to me and will probably die quickly if I don't."

He looked at me again, but this time more troubled. "You mean just because a piece of the tree fell off, you are going take it out on the rest of the tree? Is that what you mean? This is kind of dumb, dude. I mean, won't that part just grow back?"

"Damnit, Boy! What if I cut off your tail or maybe one of those legs of yours? Would it grow back?"

"Well, damnit man! Didn't I just tell you I'm a cat? Don't you listen to anything I say?"

"No, not really. All you ever want to talk about is what I'm going to pour in your dish for supper", I replied.

There was a long silence. As I surveyed the destruction, with a flashlight in one hand, coffee cup in the other and Boy at my feet, I noticed this portion of the tree had targeted my prized hot pepper plants and landed on top of each of them. Now I have a lot of pepper plants in the yard....for my salsa making.......but these particular plants were started earlier than the others and had already been quite productive. I knew when the sun came up I would be depressed.

I took a few pictures of the fallen tree and Boy and I made it back into the house. He crashed on "his" sofa and I plotted my next move. First, I would have to call in sick....well, not really sick in the usual sense. I was sick, but it was more of that ol' "sick to my stomach" kind of sick. You know what I mean, don't you?

The sun finally came up and I started my project. I first got out my trimmers to get rid of the smaller branches. They tend to get in the way of a chainsaw, so might was well hit them first. After trimming as much as I could do, I loaded most of those branches onto my truck and went for the chainsaw.

Now I don't use my chainsaw on a daily basis, so it sits idle for most of the year. I added the 2-cycle gas to it and after several pulls it started up. Nothing like the roar of a chain saw at 7AM in a mostly quiet neighborhood. I managed to get 4 or 5 of the longer branches cut into smaller pieces when the saw stopped. It was stuck in the middle of one piece and it was obvious that the chain had been damaged. Luckily, I had a new chain so all was not lost. Yea, right.

You have to understand that I've never changed a chainsaw chain in my life. When the one we had, when I was growing up, would break, Dad was always there to fix it. He knew how and always kept that a secret. Dad's not here now, so it was up to me to figure it out. After about 20 minutes, I finally got the new chain installed and hauled it up the hill. It was time to kick butt!

As I placed the saw on the next wooded victim, I noticed there was little or no sawdust blowing around. "That's odd", I said quietly and turned the saw off.

"Hmmmm....no damage to the chain", I said, although no one was around. Well I didn't see anyone, anyway.

"You have the chain on the wrong way", I heard someone say behind me.

I turned around and there sat Juniper, yet another smartass feline who takes up space in my home. "You have the chain on backwards, you big, furless dummy!" She was laying on top of the branches I piled up in the yard.

Ever dealt with "better than thou" attitude from a cat? That's Juniper. She is the all-knowing member of our family and can sneak up on you and scare the crap out of you.

"Where did you come from?"

"Oh, I've been out here all morning.....you forgot to let me in....remember? You probably don't remember, as you think you're in charge around here. I'm telling you the chain is on backwards and it won't cut until you reverse it".

"How do you know this", I asked, fully expecting one of her uppity responses.

"The internet....you know you can learn a lot on that thing", she said with that little grin on her face.

"The internet? What do you know about the internet and how did you get on it?"

"Do you think I just sit around here all day just sleeping? Geez! I setup my own Hotmail account a couple of years ago. Nothing to it. Hey, there's a litter of mice on Ebay that I've got a bid on. Only problem is they want a credit card number. I thought you should know I used yours".

"What? Where did you get my credit card number?"

"Trash can. There's some cool stuff in there if you're willing to dig deep."

Juniper headed back into the house. Had to check on her Ebay bid, I guess.

I pondered her suggestion and decided to switch the chain around. Sure enough, she was right. I had the blades going in the wrong direction. "Damn cat", I muttered under my breath.

My project lasted for most of the day. I managed to cut up the wood that was on the ground. The remainder of the tree was cut down by a guy I paid to do so. Juniper found his name on the internet and even got his phone number.

Damn cat!