Thursday, October 20, 2005

Top 10 Scary Things to do For Halloween

Top 10 Scary Things to do For Halloween

10. Tie a string around your cat's tail and put his feet on fly paper; place the cat in the bushes and pull his tail when the kids show up for free candy.

9. Instead of bobbing for apples play bobbing for habaneros.

8. Carve your pumpkin into the shape of a nuclear mushroom. Do not light the candle.

7. Play Michael Jackson cds outdoors until the sun rises. You may be arrested for obscenity but what the hell. Crank it up! "Cause it's da Thriller"!

6. Before you go to bed, put the leftover candy on the front porch; place a mousetrap in the bottom of the candy dish.

5. Send your kids on a scavenger with the list written in invisible ink.

4. Buy a big screen tv and install on the front porch. Play "It's A Wonderful Life" and confuse the crap out of the neighbors.

3. Tie broomsticks all around your front doorstoop....make sure they hang low enough to bop the older kids in the head but NOT the real kids. Geez....don't they ever quit Trick or Treating?

2. Go to Kroger and buy out their supply of Charmin; go to the Great Smoky Mountains and begin.

And the Number One Scary Thing to Do for Halloween:
(Drum roll please.....)

1. Dress up like ol George W and run around saying that Presidential Term Limitations have been eliminated and you're gonna run for 8 more years! Everybody loves W, right?


Anonymous said...

i read ur post "The Void - A Year of Healing"..thght i ll post it was posted long back..i agree with u abt funerals..i simply hate them...i m 17 and attended two funerals in last 4mnths of two really close people..people really dont realise the effect a funeral can have on someone close to the person who has died...its takes a long time to accept and recover from a death of a loved one....
really nice blog..

zcsg said...

I actually had a nightmare the other night that Bush did extend the presendency to three terms. It really sent shivers up my spine. Oh-I think my favorite it playing its a wonderful life.

NewLiz said...

True story, one year a friend had a huge bowl of candy and he sat out on his porch happily giving out treats to all the kiddies. Well nature called and he set the bowl down on the porch and went inside for a moment to take care of business. On his return not only was all the candy gone but they took the bowl as well. His wife was VERY angry, he had used her "best Tupperware".
Two years ago we prepared for all the cute kids to come to the door, decorated and stocked up on candy. Our first trick or treater was a 50 year old toothless woman with a Kroger bag who attempted to clean out the candy dish.
Last year we stocked up again. (Gluttons for punishment at our house). Trick or treaters? Nope. So we ate candy for the next 12 months. Leftovers will be dispensed this year by other family members. I'm going out of town.

Anonymous said...

This is a really uninteresting blog. Not funny, unintelligent, and boring.