Saturday, July 26, 2014

Wanting A Simple Life

I long for the simple days of Christopher Robin and Pooh………

But I know that is not reality

Reality sucks!

Real life struggles and bad decisions in my past
I don’t know what my future holds for me

But with the shit I’ve been through, I can handle it………

Just hope my family can…….and can hold on to me……….

Friday, July 25, 2014

The Stranger In The Room

I sit still on my deck listening to the birds sing their sweet songs
These are the sounds of poetry that only nature lovers can understand

There is a quietness and stillness in these old hills today
My outside friends seem to understand what I’m feeling and they offer their support
It is the only way they can……by singing
I believe they know I love music and they work their magic into my soul

I am troubled these days but I, and I alone, chose a bad path years ago
The path I have now chosen to walk down troubles me even more
It is difficult, disturbing, emotional and hard
But I chose this and now I must do the right thing

I am the Stranger in the Room when humans are present
I feel it and sense the others feel it too
I long for the day when I can wake up refreshed
And the past desires no longer trouble me

I am in search of David
If anyone sees him, can you send him my way?
I’d like to change shoes

Bubbles and Smiles

There are so many reasons to journey through the hell I am going through now.....but none more precious than bubbles and smiles!

His amazing smile fascinates and inspires me to be the Grumpy he would like to know....for many years.

He is always excited about being outside and exploring things he's never seen or felt before.

And so am I...........

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

No One Said It Would Be Easy (Sobriety)

I've made some tough decisions in my 56 years but my most recent one is playing games with my head.

My thoughts go from mellow to angry to confusion to comfort to why should I care.

But I DO care.

I want to watch my grandson (and soon to arrive granddaughter) grow to be young adults.  I know I won't make it that long but it's a good goal to work towards.

I always considered myself as a leader, successful, a change-maker and a lover of music and poetry (the kind that does NOT rhyme).  And now I doubt those all of those........

I am working my 12 steps and will continue to do so........but my mind is jumbled right now.