Saturday, September 17, 2005

Things You Should NEVER Buy Your Wife For Her Birthday

With my wife's birthday coming up in a few days, I thought I would share with you some items that should NEVER be considered when choosing the perfect gift:

  • Membership to a gym. While she may want this deep-down, YOU should not be the one to make that decision....bad idea. You will be forced to answer the question "Do you think I'm gaining weight?"
  • Vacuum cleaner. You are implying that this is a very important item that she should cherish. You may find your favorite tie (if there is such an animal) in the vacuum bag.
  • Cooking utensils. Unless she asks for this specifically, and puts it in writing, you should NEVER consider this or anything else associated with the kitchen.
  • Season Tickets to any sporting event. She knows you bought this for you, not her. They figure these things out pretty quickly.
  • Kinky lingerie. Ditto from the Season Tickets (above).
  • Clothes of any kind. You will screw this one up by getting the wrong size AND color. Should you luck up and get it right, she will have to buy new shoes to match.
  • Anything associated with new technology. Pretty close to the Season Tickets're gonna have to make it work and it ends up becoming your problem for months.
  • Jewelry. If you choose to go this route, she must go with you to pick it out. She knows exactly what she would wear. If you go solo, you'd better be prepared to buy clothes and shoes to match....and remember that you'll screw that one up too.
  • Dremel set. Actually, my wife has one of these, but it's for her gourd-art. Not many wives do gourd-art so this is likely a bad move on your part.
  • Mr. Beer Homebrewing Kit. Well there's a big DUH for you. You're in the doghouse with this gift, so just stay away. Put it on YOUR Christmas Wish list and understand you will never get this from her.
  • Crystal-growing kit. This just will not do! Been there, done that. Actually this was a Christmas gift and it sat on a shelf for a number of months. I pulled it out and made them myself. Lots of work involved with this one and the potential for staining the kitchen counter is high. This is the kiss of death.
  • Offer to babysit the kids for a weekend. If you do this, make sure you submit this with specific black-out dates! College football bowl game days and Superbowl Sunday are prime candidates.
  • Anything to do with house cleaning. This is just a dumb idea. You are supposed to be smart enough to never consider this as a "gift".

Please feel free to add to this list....we all need a good education, especially in the gift buying arena!

1 comment:

Friend of His said...

Happy Birthday Terri!

A Good Book
Anything from bath and body works

A Build a bear certificate..and then take her to make one and out to dinner.
A visa card

Candles in her favorite scent

Any arts and craft things she enjoys.

Earrings are a good thing..just look at what she wears.

Best wishes friend.