More things I believe....
~With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy and Larry the Cable Guy~
I believe most Americans get their exercise walking up and down the snack food aisle at WalMart.
I believe "W" is proof that evolution didn't pan out in Texas.
I believe that light bulbs have built-in self-destruct timers designed to execute at 2AM when you have to go to the bathroom.
I believe there are aliens inside me and they come out of my belly button at midnight to move my furniture around.
I believe cats are interstellar terrorists.
I believe traffic lights are over-rated.
I believe Pat Robertson should run for president....in Iraq.
I believe the basketball season has been on-going for 20 years.
I believe books have too many words and not enough pictures.
I believe convenience stores are not very convenient.
I believe toe nails serve no useful purpose and should be banned.
I believe the US Post Office should require their employees to pass an English test.
I believe aspirin is the leading cause of headaches.
I believe lawyers should not be allowed to breed.
I believe the internet causes cancer in laboratory mice.
I believe Bob Dylan is still on tour.
I believe Billy Mays (Oxy-Clean Ka-Boom commericials) should stop shouting at me.
I believe teachers should be required to take a polygraph test and THEN be allowed to teach the truth.
I believe Congress members should have Social Security taxes taken out of their paycheck.
I believe there are WAY too many types of printer ink cartridges.
I believe the numbers on a telephone should be aligned identical to those on a calculator.
I believe Thanksgiving should be expanded to a week-long holiday...and there should be a football game playing around the clock.
I believe the work week should be Saturday and Sunday and the weekend should be Monday through Friday.
I believe paper clips annoy me.
I believe Spam (the "food") does not have an expiration date.
I believe the toilet handle is on the wrong side of the tank.
I believe Frank Zappa ate too much Yellow Snow.
I believe God is frustrated....and she's getting annoyed.
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