Top 10 Reasons for Why I Chose to Not Return to Atlanta

10. Too many people, too little time
09. Overcrowded Schools
08. Too many malls, not enough money
07. Too many people, not enough trees
06. Can't buy beer on Sunday
05. Can't get a flight that's ontime, regardless of how far in advance you book
04. Mom would make me do her yardwork
03. I'd get a hernia picking up the Metro-Atlanta Phonebook
02. Braves can't win the big one (again)

AND THE NUMBER REASON WHY I CHOSE TO NOT RETURN TO ATLANTA:

THE FRIGGIN' TRAFFIC!