Sunday, July 24, 2005

The Fine Art of Wasting Time

Or, How I'll Spend My Time When My Daughters Go Off To School

  • Sit at my window and watch the birds bathe
  • Watch the Ladybug devour the innocent aphid
  • Continue to flip the light switch in my home that obviously isn't connected to anything
  • Program my "Universal" Remote (that might take a LOT of time)
  • Reorganize my cd collection in mid-range alphabetical order (M to Y, A to L, then Z)
  • Sit on the tailgate of my truck and pretend I'm outside a football stadium-CHEERS!
  • Read a technical manual on how to reprogram Windows 3.1
  • Stare at my speakers to determine how the whole band got inside that little, wooden box
  • Go through my sock drawer and pull out all the single socks I saved, hoping the ones that were eaten by the dryer will magically reappear
  • Count the blooms that fall off the crepe myrtles
  • Bounce a tennis ball off the outside wall built with uneven stones-might have to chase the ball, but that's the fun of it
  • Write a thesis on why ice cream doesn't have bones and find a publisher
  • Take the trash out.....then bring it back inside (this could go on for days)
  • Do a "Google" for Barbie Benton to see if that whole gravity thing took its toll on her over the last 40 years
  • Invent a new alphabet-anybody know when this thing was last upgraded?
  • Read a thesaursus to determine which words can be deleted from the dictionary; advise Daniel Webster of my final determination
  • Add my consistently misspelled words to Bill Gates' Spellcheck dictionary so I can continue my writing without being interrupted
  • Collect snowflakes to see if I can find any two that are alike; bring them in next to the fire so I can see them better
  • Write my life story so the rest of the world can have a manual on how to go insane in 3 (no 4) easy steps and find a publisher
  • Go to bed and start it all over tomorrow

2 comments:

Friend of His said...

You forgot cllipping your toenails and seeing which one flys the farthest.

tanby said...

it's always good to have a goal. yours sounds very interesting and i would love to hear the results