The Fine Art of Wasting Time

Or, How I'll Spend My Time When My Daughters Go Off To School

• Sit at my window and watch the birds bathe
• Watch the Ladybug devour the innocent aphid
• Continue to flip the light switch in my home that obviously isn't connected to anything
• Program my "Universal" Remote (that might take a LOT of time)
• Reorganize my cd collection in mid-range alphabetical order (M to Y, A to L, then Z)
• Sit on the tailgate of my truck and pretend I'm outside a football stadium-CHEERS!
• Read a technical manual on how to reprogram Windows 3.1
• Stare at my speakers to determine how the whole band got inside that little, wooden box
• Go through my sock drawer and pull out all the single socks I saved, hoping the ones that were eaten by the dryer will magically reappear
• Count the blooms that fall off the crepe myrtles
• Bounce a tennis ball off the outside wall built with uneven stones-might have to chase the ball, but that's the fun of it
• Write a thesis on why ice cream doesn't have bones and find a publisher
• Take the trash out.....then bring it back inside (this could go on for days)
• Do a "Google" for Barbie Benton to see if that whole gravity thing took its toll on her over the last 40 years
• Invent a new alphabet-anybody know when this thing was last upgraded?
• Read a thesaursus to determine which words can be deleted from the dictionary; advise Daniel Webster of my final determination
• Add my consistently misspelled words to Bill Gates' Spellcheck dictionary so I can continue my writing without being interrupted
• Collect snowflakes to see if I can find any two that are alike; bring them in next to the fire so I can see them better
• Write my life story so the rest of the world can have a manual on how to go insane in 3 (no 4) easy steps and find a publisher
• Go to bed and start it all over tomorrow